Fearing Darkness

Joseph Conrad's novel, "Heart of Darkness", depicts the story of a group of colonialists and their pasts. Part I of the book starts off with one of the men, Marlow, narrating how he had been introduced in the world of colonialism. Unlike popular belief, many of these marines disagreed with their missions and knew that what their nations claimed about the colonies was false.

Marlow starts off by telling how he had been enrolled in the navy and how he started having uneasy thoughts about the trip days before leaving. His anxiety is evident when the doctor is checking him; he becomes easily annoyed at the doctors questions. The doctor tells Marlow that he never sees the men he examines again once they take off. Marlow keeps quiet and comments on how he felt very annoyed at the doctors remarks.

Further on, Marlow expresses his neglect about leaving to another continent when his aunt hugs him good-bye and tells him to detach the natives from their horrid ways. Marlow felt uncomfortable at this comment, even quite vexed for he claims that women live in their own oblivious worlds. He knows his nation's interest is not within educating the Indians but rather within the continent's profit. What worries me as a reader is that he does not merely comment that he has this theory; he "ventures" to hint that what the Company wanted was profit. Noting the word "ventured" made me realize that these sailors were brainwashed before their trips and that it was not common at all for one of them to notice that.

Finally, Marlow's lack of conviction about sailing off to colonize becomes evident when he says, "I felt as though, instead of going to the centre of a continent, I were about to set off for the centre of the earth." (Page 77). Here, the centre of the Earth is depicted as a location alien to mankind, they know less about the centre of the Earth than what they know about the centre of this new continent. Marlow is nervous, he feels uneasy about setting off to a place he knows nothing about and from where he can expect practically anything; particularly not coming back home.

Marlow's worrisome attitude makes me feel sorry for him. He reminds me of the hundreds of soldiers in classical paintings that are fighting in the middle of colonialist wars or conquering unknown lands and have expressionless faces in them; they do not really feel or understand what is going on. Marlow saw an opportunity in what he country saw as a revolutionary colonialist act, and he feels worried about what he is about to encounter.